sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it because I queefed?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
