I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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