problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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