Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
