Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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