A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
