im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
