hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
