Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
