Can i not drive my cunt home
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
