Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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