I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I can text with my tongue
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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