Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
