We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
