just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
