i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
