Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
