that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
