The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
