do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
