with your own penis?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
