guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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