If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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