Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
