shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
