He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My hand turned me down
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize