We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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