Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am puke
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
