all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
