Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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