He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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