She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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