Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
