Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
