the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
