Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize