did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
