well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
