its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
