I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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