I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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