the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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