Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
