can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
