oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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