I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry my hands just texted you
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
