She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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