You work out of a Hotel?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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