I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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