I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
