Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
