so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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