As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
