Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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