she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I need a beard to bite.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
