What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize