grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
