strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
