Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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