using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
