I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
