the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
